Legal pun hashtags are to a lawyer as Saturday Night Live is to the television viewer. Both are entirely necessary.
Recently, #TrumpCaseNotes began trending on Twitter, mocking Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s views on specific past legal cases. From one legal geek to another, I love this stuff.
Here are some of my favorites, thanks to Elie Mystal, Kathryn Rubino, and Joe Patrice of Above The Law:
Marbury v. Madison
“Thomas Madison, Thomas Jefferson Madison, one of our great, great founding men, probably the best who was also great with the blacks, okay. He bought Louisiana from the Mexicans and turned it into New Orleans, one of our great, great lakes. So this great man decided that he didn’t want hire this loser who was a total disaster. The POLITICIANS… you know who I’m talking about… you know… the SWAMP PEOPLE, tried to make make the President hire this loser, but they lost. Tommy won. Bigly. EVEN THE SUPREME COURT, which is so weak, had to admit that Thomas was right the whole time.”
Here you can find a summary of Marbury v. Madison.
Tinker v. Des Moines
“What we’ve got here are a couple of kids. You know kids love me. But they’re wearing these ugly armbands, are they attractive? I don’t think so. I mean come on. But listen, they’re just trying to be politically correct, about the war, which, for the record — I was against, look it up. But the school, frankly they don’t have time for total political correctness, and to be honest with you, this country doesn’t have time either. But no, the Supreme Court says these kids can do what they want, a bunch of losers. I’ll tell ya there are no consequences to protesting any more.”
Here you can find a summary of Tinker v. Des Moines.
New York Times v. Sullivan
“The New York Times, they’re a terrible newspaper — they’re losing money and are dishonest. And listen, they printed some stuff and you know it wasn’t true. Nothing but lies. They were forced to apologize. They were wrong, they were wrong. And now the Supreme Court comes in spouting nonsense about actual malice? They were wrong, that’s all you need to know. People this is why we need to open up our libel laws so we can sue them and win lots of money.”
Here you can find a summary of New York Times v. Sullivan.
And finally, here’s my take on Trump’s views of that potential Trump v. New York Times case, which I highly doubt will be prosecuted. If it is, this is what it could look like from the Trump perspective:
“Wow, this is huge! The New York Times, like I’ve said many, many times before, is a terrible newspaper. Who even believes their cartoon section, yet alone that ridiculous claim saying I attacked women? I love women! Those libel laws should be opened. The press have too much power. Just wait until I open up the libel laws. The New York Times will be sued so hard, so hard.”
Disclaimer: None of the block quotes are actual Donald Trump statements. The statements are merely mockery. Be informed on landmark cases that can change the precedents of the law. Don’t be an ignoramus.